Friday, January 21, 2005
I'm not Lucky, but it's all cuz....
Again, the samething happened in the college years of mine. I hang out with no good people again, mix of gamblers, gamers, drunkers and much worse than that. but I'm still here, after all those events which almost take my live. Then when I came to my conciousness, I tracking back the the road I've take, trying to figure out why I'm still here, having great time with new friends, enjoying such a great view of the world.
I've came to a conclusion that this all because of my mom... She never stop guiding me, with her boring repetitive irritating speech and funny action which she had to take. If I remember correctly I always went out with her pray and bless, no matter what I did. Probably the funny rituals I made, kissing back of her palm, every time I went out her home, is the one that saved me all the time so I can came to her home safely. Or probably it is God? He cares baout me and He still give me chance to make everything right? All the bad deeds, sins and pain I caused so much to other people when I'm not really my self, simply things which I regret so much till now. I live with all those regrets and I got chance to repent them. I really don't know why am I good enough, deserving all of these.Am I lucky? I don't think so...
I always considered my self as a logic person, but there are some time all the logic do not apply. Religion, God, miracles, pray and feelings.I do not know why but I think that is the way it has to be. There should be some secret living in this world, because if we already know about everything, then what is the point we live this life?
I've came to a conclusion that this all because of my mom... She never stop guiding me, with her boring repetitive irritating speech and funny action which she had to take. If I remember correctly I always went out with her pray and bless, no matter what I did. Probably the funny rituals I made, kissing back of her palm, every time I went out her home, is the one that saved me all the time so I can came to her home safely. Or probably it is God? He cares baout me and He still give me chance to make everything right? All the bad deeds, sins and pain I caused so much to other people when I'm not really my self, simply things which I regret so much till now. I live with all those regrets and I got chance to repent them. I really don't know why am I good enough, deserving all of these.Am I lucky? I don't think so...
I always considered my self as a logic person, but there are some time all the logic do not apply. Religion, God, miracles, pray and feelings.I do not know why but I think that is the way it has to be. There should be some secret living in this world, because if we already know about everything, then what is the point we live this life?
