Monday, April 18, 2005
What is a "Friend" anyway?
Lately my mind was tickling by conversations I made with some of my friends, about relationship. Those conversations make me thinking again, what are exactly relationships between individuals? How you define those things?
I mean, some people says, "lets be friends..." or ".. you are my friend..." or ".. everyone here are my friends...", when they say those things, what exactly they have in their mind about the word "friend" anyway... Someone they can talk to? someone to share their feelings? Someone to share they dream? or the word "friend" is for everyone they meet in their life.
The reason why I write about these is because I'm afraid that my concept about human relationship with other, .....my relationship with other people... somehow a mistake or has flaws. This will not fair for other who I called me "friend" yet I never felt the same way for them... or vice versa... My so called "friend" never think me like one, probably worse... They thinking I just a hindrance in their life... In this case I have to said I'm sorry cause I never meant that way...
I understand that there are God-Human relationship, blood related/family relationship and other than that. Does "friend" relationship some how fit for the last kind of relationship? Well.. I think, mostly... yes... But I've heard people called some member of their family as a friend too... "...he is my cousin, yet he is also my closest friend...." or for some "enlightened" people they also say that God is their friend... (This really takes the topic to a new level...huh?)
According to Dictionary, the word friend will give you several meanings,
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement.
5. Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.
A mambo jumbo psychology books (I forgot who the author are...) describes that there are several invisible rings around ourself in term of relationship. In short those rings classified by how other people percieve you. They classified and named as
1. nobody: someone you never met in person,
2. know: someone you know it's name,
3. friend: someone you share your happiness,
4. close friend: someone you share your saddness also,
5. lover: someone you share your feelings and dreams,
6. husband-wive: someone you share your life and everything you have.
At first I laugh... this guy is lame how they can classified and describe something just like this.... Ha!.... Then I think again.. somehow they unreasonably match description, I mean at some point it does make sense. If I looked to those words, probably that what other people thinking when they build relationship with other, when they build their relationship with me...Is It true? well... I do not know... I'm no psychic... lol.
I also try to see where the word friend comes from. This is really blows me up.... Word History: A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin amcus “friend” and am “I love” is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos “friend” and phile “I love.” In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb related to friend. At that time, frond, the Old English word for “friend,” was simply the present participle of the verb fron, “to love.” The Germanic root behind this verb is *fr-, which meant “to like, love, be friendly to.” Closely linked to these concepts is that of “peace,” and in fact Germanic made a noun from this root, *frithu-, meaning exactly that. Ultimately descended from this noun are the personal names Frederick, “peaceful ruler,” and Siegfried, ”victory peace.” The root also shows up in the name of the Germanic deity Frigg, the goddess of love, who lives on today in the word Friday, “day of Frigg,” from an ancient translation of Latin Veneris dis, “day of Venus.” Well... beats me, don't ask me about love because up until the moment I write this, I still confuse about its meaning and concept...lol... The concept of love I understand are mother-love and God-love, beside that... it's still puzzle me out.
Anyway, I thinking again and I came to "momentary" conclusion. The word meaning can be anything from A to Z, but frankly I hate those classification like that, it's not nice building relationship classes like that, it's not humane thing to do. I did recognize that there are level of intensity here but for me the word "friend" has the same meaning as "share". If you share anything with me, even it's just only your name, then you're my friend allright.
So, the only thing I wished is that for everyone I called friend out there is to "share" (I'm not talking bout material here...lol) something, cause I'll do the same. And I hoped as the time goes by the level of intensity also increase.... that's what I'm thinking....
To all my so called friend out there.... I'm really sorry if I'm not make up your expectation and I wish I can know you better than before.
I mean, some people says, "lets be friends..." or ".. you are my friend..." or ".. everyone here are my friends...", when they say those things, what exactly they have in their mind about the word "friend" anyway... Someone they can talk to? someone to share their feelings? Someone to share they dream? or the word "friend" is for everyone they meet in their life.
The reason why I write about these is because I'm afraid that my concept about human relationship with other, .....my relationship with other people... somehow a mistake or has flaws. This will not fair for other who I called me "friend" yet I never felt the same way for them... or vice versa... My so called "friend" never think me like one, probably worse... They thinking I just a hindrance in their life... In this case I have to said I'm sorry cause I never meant that way...
I understand that there are God-Human relationship, blood related/family relationship and other than that. Does "friend" relationship some how fit for the last kind of relationship? Well.. I think, mostly... yes... But I've heard people called some member of their family as a friend too... "...he is my cousin, yet he is also my closest friend...." or for some "enlightened" people they also say that God is their friend... (This really takes the topic to a new level...huh?)
According to Dictionary, the word friend will give you several meanings,
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement.
5. Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.
A mambo jumbo psychology books (I forgot who the author are...) describes that there are several invisible rings around ourself in term of relationship. In short those rings classified by how other people percieve you. They classified and named as
1. nobody: someone you never met in person,
2. know: someone you know it's name,
3. friend: someone you share your happiness,
4. close friend: someone you share your saddness also,
5. lover: someone you share your feelings and dreams,
6. husband-wive: someone you share your life and everything you have.
At first I laugh... this guy is lame how they can classified and describe something just like this.... Ha!.... Then I think again.. somehow they unreasonably match description, I mean at some point it does make sense. If I looked to those words, probably that what other people thinking when they build relationship with other, when they build their relationship with me...Is It true? well... I do not know... I'm no psychic... lol.
I also try to see where the word friend comes from. This is really blows me up.... Word History: A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin amcus “friend” and am “I love” is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos “friend” and phile “I love.” In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb related to friend. At that time, frond, the Old English word for “friend,” was simply the present participle of the verb fron, “to love.” The Germanic root behind this verb is *fr-, which meant “to like, love, be friendly to.” Closely linked to these concepts is that of “peace,” and in fact Germanic made a noun from this root, *frithu-, meaning exactly that. Ultimately descended from this noun are the personal names Frederick, “peaceful ruler,” and Siegfried, ”victory peace.” The root also shows up in the name of the Germanic deity Frigg, the goddess of love, who lives on today in the word Friday, “day of Frigg,” from an ancient translation of Latin Veneris dis, “day of Venus.” Well... beats me, don't ask me about love because up until the moment I write this, I still confuse about its meaning and concept...lol... The concept of love I understand are mother-love and God-love, beside that... it's still puzzle me out.
Anyway, I thinking again and I came to "momentary" conclusion. The word meaning can be anything from A to Z, but frankly I hate those classification like that, it's not nice building relationship classes like that, it's not humane thing to do. I did recognize that there are level of intensity here but for me the word "friend" has the same meaning as "share". If you share anything with me, even it's just only your name, then you're my friend allright.
So, the only thing I wished is that for everyone I called friend out there is to "share" (I'm not talking bout material here...lol) something, cause I'll do the same. And I hoped as the time goes by the level of intensity also increase.... that's what I'm thinking....
To all my so called friend out there.... I'm really sorry if I'm not make up your expectation and I wish I can know you better than before.
