Piece of My Life

The word "independence day" now days just meaningless sound party of rag race or chips-eating race on the backyard of my nighborhood. I still can see people eating rice leftover as their one-meal-a-day and make me feel really, really guilty having an overweight body with no capabilities to help all of them. Often I was thinking to adapt and accept the way of how everything done here, earn a sum of money to help everyone I can, but my foolish pride combined with incurable stubborness I had refused to do that. Probably Im just naive and hipocrite but the feeling I had inside are real and sometimes tears just dropped unwillingly. I hope I can face them and say to them that we are already free, but how can you said things that you're even doesn't believed in to?

Too many luggage on my back before I said I'm free. I hope I can be that person who can smile after his house are destroyed. I hoped I can be that person who had confidence to look to others eyes and said "don't worry everything is gonna be okay" while everthing around them are crumbling apart. Ohh, when this time comes I wished I was someone else.

I just a coward, too scared to do anything for those needy people. Hell... I even never gave any when one of them asked me. I keep telling myself that I trained them to have more courage in this life while myself is hiding in fear of the same thing. I know I said idiotic lines and lie to myself that I can do it. and now everything become shackles to my souls.