Friday, January 21, 2005
A better person?
Once, I was asked by friend of mine how to judge a person character. I replied her that it can be seen through its prayer which is in my religion it is done five times a day. The sehe replied me back saying that, once a person do "funny" stuff, although she know that he pray all the time. So I said probably because his prayer just a ritual, so they don't have any meaning for him. She also added that another friend of her is nice and good person although he wasn't pray well. Well after this my arguments wasn't solid at all because if I remember correctly I'm also have a lot of friends like hers.
So a question come to my mind. How you judge a person character? By judging of what they've done? not really, I think. A bad ass person in the past can become a saint today, or vice versa. Since person heart is always changing, their action value will be like that too. By their religion and education? Since higher education will create a "better person". This is also not true, an uneducated person can do the same bad or good thing as educated ones, in many cases, infact the more educated person can be, the more destructive they will be, like curroption cases. So probably by their appearance? This is the most stupid theory I've ever think of. I don't need to expain why or how though.
From all these thinking, I noticed that I always thinking by comparing people through my own standard, meaning how they action towards me, and how they action impact the environment. These will make the definition of good and bad very subjective, thus I'm certain that there is no absolute "good" or "bad" person. "Good" or "bad" value is reflected throughout their action to their environment which consists of many diverse people despite of whether the values is "right" or "wrong"
Because of this if we want to be considered good to many people we have to be able to act "good" towards them. Doing the "good" thing rather the "right", according each people value will gain their favour, so the more people favor we can gain, the better person we will be. Is it true?
I'm not Lucky, but it's all cuz....
Again, the samething happened in the college years of mine. I hang out with no good people again, mix of gamblers, gamers, drunkers and much worse than that. but I'm still here, after all those events which almost take my live. Then when I came to my conciousness, I tracking back the the road I've take, trying to figure out why I'm still here, having great time with new friends, enjoying such a great view of the world.
I've came to a conclusion that this all because of my mom... She never stop guiding me, with her boring repetitive irritating speech and funny action which she had to take. If I remember correctly I always went out with her pray and bless, no matter what I did. Probably the funny rituals I made, kissing back of her palm, every time I went out her home, is the one that saved me all the time so I can came to her home safely. Or probably it is God? He cares baout me and He still give me chance to make everything right? All the bad deeds, sins and pain I caused so much to other people when I'm not really my self, simply things which I regret so much till now. I live with all those regrets and I got chance to repent them. I really don't know why am I good enough, deserving all of these.Am I lucky? I don't think so...
I always considered my self as a logic person, but there are some time all the logic do not apply. Religion, God, miracles, pray and feelings.I do not know why but I think that is the way it has to be. There should be some secret living in this world, because if we already know about everything, then what is the point we live this life?
I've came to a conclusion that this all because of my mom... She never stop guiding me, with her boring repetitive irritating speech and funny action which she had to take. If I remember correctly I always went out with her pray and bless, no matter what I did. Probably the funny rituals I made, kissing back of her palm, every time I went out her home, is the one that saved me all the time so I can came to her home safely. Or probably it is God? He cares baout me and He still give me chance to make everything right? All the bad deeds, sins and pain I caused so much to other people when I'm not really my self, simply things which I regret so much till now. I live with all those regrets and I got chance to repent them. I really don't know why am I good enough, deserving all of these.Am I lucky? I don't think so...
I always considered my self as a logic person, but there are some time all the logic do not apply. Religion, God, miracles, pray and feelings.I do not know why but I think that is the way it has to be. There should be some secret living in this world, because if we already know about everything, then what is the point we live this life?
Monday, January 17, 2005
Am I lucky or what?
I remember when I was 7, played around an field of tall grass. Without fear, I was running around freely chasing something which really doesn't exist, the wind blow. Stupid huh? Running around like crazy catching the wind. eventually ...the one that I catch is my own breath. Well I think, my stupidity is never end, I always chase something which is really... I do not know how to say it..... When I was in junior high school, I join the computer club there with a though that "...future is about technology and information, take that and seize the opportunity..." and then I was end up as a high rank pro-gamer in that school, spending my time which supposedly I used in taking courses and additional lessons. But then suprisingly my marks still good enough to enter a prestigious high school in my home town at that time.... really lucky one. In high school I tried to built "business network" by creating friends, because My uncle told me "... you never know what going to happen to you in this live. When the bad one comes the one that will help you is your family and your closest friends so make friends with anyone as many as possible..." So I did do that, but you know what? I ended up making friends with... well I can say that nothing good I can say bout them...lol. But we do have good and close relationship, except with girls...lol I got rejected couples of time, nothing to be proud about. Anyway, again, when I graduated from there I got accepted to one of a prestigious Institute in the country. I never thought I would get this, am I lucky or what? (to be continue...)
